Why Friendships Matter as we Age
Make and maintain them as an adult - it’s important
A quick message from me about friends…
They’re important.
Okay so not exactly earth shattering news but friends are my jumping off point for this week’s post.
I’m reflecting on making them as an adult - why it can be challenging but also why it’s important.
Make and Maintain Friendships as an Adult
I’m spending the weekend in Melbourne with a girlfriend.
She invited me to an event, and I said yes.
The moment she asked, I felt chosen.
That small but significant feeling stuck with me - how rare it can feel to make and sustain friendships as an oldish adult, yet how rewarding.
Why Does Making Friends Feel Harder as Adults?
Let’s face it: making friends as adults can feel more complicated. Life gets busy, roles and routines settle in, and opportunities to meet new people dwindle.
Friendships def take more commitment and investment as an older adult.
When I moved to Australia at 45, I didn’t feel “middle-aged,” but the math didn’t lie. Halfway to 90 meant I was smack dab in the middle.
It's hard to start over when you're that age especially as an introvert. Luckily I had three things in my favour:
Work Connections: My hubby had a job and many of his co-workers went out of their way to show me around town and make me feel welcome. I’d also been given an introduction to a couple of Pilates teachers in my new town that I met a few days after arriving.
Child Connections: My then nine-year-old’s activities offered a built-in network of parents. Their kindness and inclusiveness was a lifeline.
Time: I’d moved before and understood that building meaningful relationships takes patience.
I’d already had experiences where I moved and basically knew no one. It felt extremely lonely and I wondered if those strong bonds of friendship would ever reappear.
As a 21 year old newlywed, my hubby and I moved halfway across the country - we knew one person (she’s still a friend btw). While it did take a couple of years, the friends we eventually made are still some of our nearest and dearest.
Moving to Australia was the same… we had one friend and he and his wife lived in a city a two day drive away. It took a while but slowly we gathered a trusted circle of support. Now though, due to everyone’s transient lives (including ours), none of us are geographically close. But, how lucky are we to live in a digitally connected world allowing us to more easily stay in touch!
I’ve lived in my latest “home town” for four years and I’d say it’s only in the past year or two that I’ve made some really good friends. I love it when I’m out running errands and bump into someone I know. It gives me a little happy jolt!
photo by Antonino Visalli
Different is Good
Interestingly, friendships formed later in life often feel different from those made earlier. For example, I may not know much about my newer friends’ childhoods or siblings. Our bonds are rooted in shared experiences from the moment we met, creating unique dynamics.
It’s not to say that I don't know them or that we don’t have a depth to the relationship. It's a little different, that’s all.
It’s true what they say: friendships come into our lives for different reasons and seasons.
Why Friendships Are Worth the Effort
Community & Relationships is one of my seven Pillars of Health. Strong social connections aren’t just nice, they’re essential for our mental and physical health.
Research shows that adults with solid friendships experience lower rates of depression and anxiety, reduced blood pressure and lower risks for cardiovascular disease and dementia.
People with stronger friendships have a longer life expectancy.
Meaningful relationships also support emotional resilience, particularly in challenging times. Whether through close friendships or wider social circles, these bonds provide a crucial buffer against life’s stressors.
Japanese adults older than 65 who laughed in conversation with people (presumably their friends) versus laughing alone, reduced the risk of functional disability by approximately 30%.
In essence, connections enrich our lives - quite literally.
photo by Dario Valenzuela
Letting Friendships Grow Naturally
The older I get, the more I’ve learned to embrace organic connections. Instead of forcing friendships, I allow acquaintances to evolve naturally. This balance - staying open without forcing interactions - can be tricky, but it feels authentic.
It’s about creating space in life for meaningful connections, while also appreciating the joy of simply being in good company.
Making friends as an adult takes effort and vulnerability, but the rewards are immense so prioritise time for friendships—they’re as vital to your health as exercise and nutrition.
Make sure to say “yes” to that coffee date or community event. You never know - it might just lead to your next lifelong friend.
Watch
3 Partner Pilates Mat Exercises for Fun and Connection
To celebrate the power of connection, make sure to check out the six-minute video featuring three Pilates mat exercises you can do with a partner. These exercises are a great way to share movement, have a giggle (good for your core!), and maybe even sweat a little - all with a friend!
Take Home Message
Friendships in adulthood can be challenging but are essential for well-being. Embrace the health benefits of social ties by forging meaningful connections.
Thanks for reading and watching,
xBec
The information contained above is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this blog are not intended to amount to advice and Rebecca Forde disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this post