*inspired by Ramblin’ Man from Steve Martin's album Let’s Get Small which yes, I listened to repeatedly. This album is what made me to want to learn the banjo and even though I did get one as a present, I gave it away years later before ever learning to play (cue sad face).
Greetings Reader,
Four out of the last five weeks I’ve been out of town and on vacation - yeehaw! This spurt of travel has made me think about what it means to be a “good” traveler and also how creativity and serendipity can enhance our journeys.
Happy Traveling Companions?
Let’s talk about being a good traveler first.
I’ve decided that there are two distinct and fully separate ways to measure this.
#1 Our opinion of ourselves…
And, probably more importantly
#2 The opinion of our traveling partners!
You know what I’ve realised? You’ll never fully understand people or know what they think of you as a traveler Until You Travel With Them!! You could be the bestest of friends, be all cool and copasetic when you hang at home but not align at all in how you approach road tripping, air travel, or seeing a new city.
I always think that I am a happy-go-lucky traveler until someone that I’m with lets me know how annoying I am or that my travel methodology is not a good fit with theirs. (I’ve also had wonderful moments when travelling with someone is so easy peasy you only notice it in hindsight)
I come from a long line of ditty singers which means a short song snippet can be triggered at anytime from pretty much anything. I remember traveling with a really good friend, it was just the two of us on a road trip, and she had to tell me in ahem, not so polite terms, to just shut the eff up. Every little thing we encountered sparked some part of my brain that made me want to sing and I didn’t even notice I was doing it until she lost her cool.
How do you react when you realise that you’re not in sync with your travel companions? This is a timely question because my latest trip was with two of my sisters and I absolutely adore them but I have to admit that a couple of times there was a teensy, weentsy, eentsy bit of friction. (they’re family so was it really that surprising?)
Are you a good traveler if you go with the flow and bend and bob and weave to everyone else’s desires? I thought this was the case but I’m re-thinking it now.
In trying not to make a fuss on that sister trip I actually removed myself from the all the decision making. While I joked that I was “on tour” my passivity in just requesting a time to show up for whatever activity was on the docket meant that I shunted all the organisational load on to my sisters. In my mind I was making it easier on them (one less person in the group decision making process) but actually I was being a lazy traveler - good thing they love me (as they like to remind me, lol). Lesson learned, I’ll be more engaged and help with the planning the next time we convene.
Embracing Creativity for Travel Memories
When your plans don’t go exactly according to plan.
Whatever kind of traveler you are: good, bad, annoying, or lazy, at some point you’ll probably have to make some creative decisions. While I def think travel is inherently creative, if only because you’re stepping into a new place, I’m also interested in how we adapt or pivot to come up with a nifty solution when problems arise. And problems will arise. As any person who’s ever visited a crowded airport or had an unexpected car snafoozle can attest - shit can go wrong!
There can be magic in seeing a place for the first time especially if it’s somewhere you’ve always dreamed of visiting. But here’s the thing: for the longest time, I didn’t leave much room for that magic.
In the past, I was that traveler. The over-planner. I used to plan my trips with military precision. I did an awful lot of pre-trip research and decided that we’d be wasting our time if we didn’t shove as many things into our schedule as we could. I can remember vacations with my husband where I had every hour of every day planned. At first my husband liked this (his version of going “on tour”) but usually he’d get exhausted and ask for a day off in the middle of our vacation. Oooh, did I resist because I clung to the idea of seeing as much as possible but eventually I had to admit that it was his vacation too so okay, maybe he should have a say? (did I mention that I can be maybe a titch of a control freak?) And you know what? Once I released the idea of directing every minute of every day, allowed for a bit of rest, things and experiences opened up (plus we were both less exhausted).
When shit goes wrong…
On a trip to Japan in 2014 - celebrating a b’day and anniversary both ending in a 0 - is when things changed. My husband, a big jazz fan, wanted to see live jazz in Osaka and if he’s interested in something, his ADHD brain lights up and you can be sure it’ll get done. He researched what was on, found a show at a small club, and even tried to make a reservation (despite speaking zero Japanese). The only thing I had to do was get us there. Easy, right? Wrong.
I was in charge of the map which I had on my iPad - yes I was one of those people lugging around a big-ole device looking like well, a tourist! Surprise - we got lost. We got off the train too early thinking it was the correct stop and wandered aimlessly around before finally getting back on the train. When we got off at the right stop, we still had no idea where to go and the clock was ticking to make it to the show on time. You’d not be wrong in thinking we were getting a bit frantic. Eventually, with me trying to figure out where the hell we were via my discreet tablet and some more aimless (but quicker) wandering, we asked for help from a young woman standing outside a restaurant. Through a mix of gestures, her working her phone’s map app like a pro, and a lot of hope, she managed to direct us. Turns out we were literally 1/2 a block away - the club was right around the corner!
The jazz club itself was incredible. Tucked away in the back of what looked like someone’s carport, we rode up an elevator and emerged into this intimate venue, sliding in literally as the show started. We ended up being two of only 13 people watching an unforgettable performance. It was magical, not in spite of the chaos leading up to it, but because of it. And it was also magical because the ladies loo housed a full sized aquarium!! That night taught me an important lesson: sometimes the best travel moments come when you stop clinging so tightly to control.
10+ years later I’m better at striking a balance: a few must-dos and plenty of room for the unexpected and if something goes wrong? It’s casually embraced.
Take my most recent trip to the UK. For several days my family and I were based in Oxford and I spent one lovely morning wandering the city with my niece, who I didn’t know until then loves exploring without a plan. We unexpectedly stumbled into a really cool old cemetery while looking for a shortcut back to our house. If our noses had just been on the map we never would’ve discovered it.
At one point, while we were on a narrow side street I snapped a photo of a cool blue door to send to my oldest sister, who loves photographing doors. The funny thing is that on her walk she’d not only wandered down the exact same street but she’d also taken a photo of the very same door. I love unplanned but connected moments like that.
Shit goes wrong part 2
Our last few days were spent in London. We managed to score discount tickets to see Wicked the musical from the front row but because of internet connectivity drama we ended up buying our five tickets in two batches. We frocked up and rocked up for our big night out only to realise three of the tickets were actually for the following evening. Tbh it was pretty funny but the usher took it all in stride and directed us to the box office with the thought of changing them all to the same night. In the end we scrapped that plan and my oldest sister and I went to the show while the other three had a wander around Covent Garden. The next night while they saw Wicked, my sis and I saw Tina, the Tina Turner Musical, which was completely a spur of the moment decision. It was, “simply the best”!
Leaning into Serendipity
Even the smallest discoveries can spark curiosity and make connections.
A cool moment came during a solo walk in London. As I was scurrying to meet my family for the Beefeater distillery gin tour (because, when in London, right?), I passed a sculpture of a rhino and a dog playing chess. It felt oddly familiar. When I got home and followed up on that nagging feeling I discovered the artists have public sculptures all over the world - including one I’d seen years ago in Perth, AU. As well as an awareness and appreciation for their work it also brought up fond memories of visiting my kiddo who lives in Perth.
Did you know those orange lights on poles at zebra crossings in the UK are called Belisha beacons? No? Me neither, but turns out my British mom knew all about them, relayed the information to my oldest sister, who then told the rest of us.
On our last evening in London we were reminiscing with my cousin about our uncle, who’d lived on a houseboat on the Thames in the 70s. On our way to the airport the next morning we found ourselves driving past the part of the river where people still live on houseboats!
These moments - seeming random but somehow connected and always sparked by curiosity - are the ones that stick with me. They remind me that travel isn’t just about the places we go but our open-eyed, wondrous approach in experiencing them.
We know it’s true: The travel stories we’ll treasure the most are usually the ones where something went a little sideways or where we left room for something spontaneous. Those were the moments where curiosity, creativity, and a willingness to adapt came into play. We remember how we handled things when they went wonky and each time the story of those travel escapades is told, we’ll smile deeply satisfied at our memories.
So, if I could give you, me (or anyone) some advice as we all (hopefully) get to travel near and far, it’s this:
Leave space for the unexpected.
Follow your curiosity.
Wander a little aimlessly.
And
Let the world and the people in it surprise you.
Be Well,
xBec
P.S. I didn’t mention it but there was an awful lot of walking on my UK sojourn so even though I didn’t quote - unquote workout, I still moved my body (the better to counter all the crisps, bread and butter, yummy sweets, and Beefeaters gin consumed ;-)
P.P.S. I’m co-hosting a women’s lifestyle retreat in early April in the Hunter Valley, NSW. Earlybird prices are still in place. If you’re interested in exploring ideas of health through yoga, pilates, and movement click on the link for more info.
I too have learnt a lot about myself travelling with my sister more recently... and for me, it is totally different if you are the event organiser or the 'guest'. I found that I need to allow time and space for me to be alone (silence, outdoor walking and sitting noticing) so that I can stay open to awe and adventure. Let's call it self-care. We both discovered that we love wandering aimlessly in places like museums and parks / the outdoors :)