Pillar Of Health: COMMUNITY & RELATIONSHIPS
Explore with me these intertwined Pillars of Health. Plus thoughts on echo chambers and a story on how to remember the important things in life.
I’m sure it’s no surprise that having a strong community surrounding you is good for your health.
Having a sense of belonging to a community has shown to have a positive effect on brain function as well as a decreased risk for dementia - win, win.
Oh, I have sooooo many thoughts on community that I don’t even know where to begin but don’t worry, I won’t be trying to dig into all of them, just hopefully give you some food for thought and then share a story (a literal one) which will touch on relationships.
Here are a just few things on Community that have been banging around in my brain:
Community doesn’t just happen, you have to create it.
Did you know that you’re not only the average of your five closest friends but also their friends and the friends of those friends (a bit like looking into a funhouse mirror and seeing into infinity) Check out this research: effects of an interconnected social network
How do we keep community now that we have to literally distance ourselves from it? (thanks new world order post Covid). OK, did anybody think to buy shares in ZOOM?🤔😂 Seriously, I don’t know where I’d be without it and FaceTime. Not only does it keep me connected to my wonderful clients, including some that I’ve actually never met in person, but also to my family and friends overseas and in other parts of Australia. Luckily we can stay connected and I'm pretty sure you probably have your own version of these long distance relationships.
How do we build community if we move to a new city/locale? Still working on this, luckily I like my hubby (plus there’s the dog and the cat and you guys, lol!)
Is your community just an Echo Chamber? Okay, this is where I’m going to dig a bit. The Echo Chamber idea has been a great lens for me to look at how and what I think about: the Generation Gap, the MeToo Movement, Black Lives Matter, Covid, the US election, and here in AU: Australia Day/Invasion Day/Survival Day/Jan 26th. Not everyone I know agrees with what I think about these things and that's okay but we should be able to discuss our differences. (I do believe in science and facts, btw - just sayin')
And now please allow me several paragraphs of digression, I promise I’ll get to RELATIONSHIPS
Echo Chambers & Filter Bubbles
Read on👇👇👇
Perhaps this idea of an Echo Chamber as well as Filter Bubbles (specifically in regards to media and information) is new to you, it's only popped into my consciousness in the last few months but in 2011 Eli Pariser wrote The Filter Bubble: What the Internet is Hiding From You, as well as gave this Ted Talk
Simply put, an Echo Chamber is when you close off your world view, surround your self with others that echo your opinions on things, and never let a divergent thought through. You become separate from opinions that differ from your own and the Filter Bubbles in the media amplify this.
These filters are the algorithms that direct you to more of the things you’re already looking at (or even talking about while you’re on your computer) making it really easy to stay in your Echo Chamber.
For example: suggestions from YouTube & Netflix based on what you’ve already watched or, how about those targeted ads that pop up after an online search? Or even, just as a super specific example, an ad for hair dye the day after you’ve been only talking to your friends about your grey hair while using your device!
Echo Chambers are nice and comfy, sometimes we don't even realise that we're in one and unfortunately for some people when they venture out of their's they feel threatened and can’t understand how people cannot agree with them 100%.
As we’ve recently seen this does not bode well for civil discourse (or science, or the facts).
So, here’s my question:
How can we change our Echo Chamber into something more PERMEABLE?
I think we should consider other points of view. (If you have a great, snappy name for my Permeable Echo Chamber I'm all ears. Echo Sieve maybe?)
How To Exit your Echo Chamber
ASK WHY
Obviously I still have my (very strong) beliefs but other ideas, thoughts, and opinions are now being considered. I have been trying to ask ‘why’ when confronted with someone or something that doesn’t share my world view.
Why does that person feel that way?
Why do they think that?
What have they experienced for them to embrace ideas that I disagree with?
Am I just reacting?
Can I put myself in their shoes?
Can I shut my trap and listen to them so I can really hear them?
I Keep Reminding Myself that Nothing is Black and White
even if it makes us feel better to think it is.
Like I said, I am trying to do this and guess what, it’s hard. Sometimes I’m all Zen about it and sometimes I get exasperated but if I look at it as keeping a bigger more inclusive community, it becomes easier.
What are your thoughts on this, have the upheavals of 2020 and 2021 made you look at things in a new way? One good thing from the forced slow down is that I had the space to think about things differently.
RELATIONSHIPS
It’s important to mention here that all what I call the "Pillars of Health" all overlap.
I pull them apart and talk about them separately as a way to organise them and my thinking around them.
However…
Can you talk community and not touch on relationships? Community, family, and food? Relationships and sleep?
I think not.
To tie them all together here’s a story:
I printed this off the internet who knows how long ago, and who knows from where, but it’s been sitting around for years in a file waiting for the right moment to be shared. I’m betting you’ve probably heard it or a version of it before.
The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, and when the 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. Then he asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes".
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now", said the professor, as the laughter subside, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things... God, your Family, your favourite Passions. If everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."
"The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, and your car."
"The sand is everything else; the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children, spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes of golf. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised their hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked."
"The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there is always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Make sure you make time for the important things in your life, especially relationships!
Thank you for reading and being part of My Community.
Be Well,
xBec
The opinions expressed and contained above are provided for information purposes only. The contents of this blog are not intended to amount to advice. Rebecca Forde & Dragonfly Pilates & Movement disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this post.