Being Injured Sucks!
Conquering Psychological Hurdles During Injury Recovery
I am injured (that is not my leg in the photo above)
Being injured sucks!
It sucks not only because I'm dealing with something that's frustratingly frustrating, but hey, I'm a Pilates and movement instructor so part of me feels like I shouldn't get injured - I should be able to heal myself.
Yes, I know these feelings are ridiculous, untrue, not helpful, etc. etc. etc. and now, six weeks post injury I do have enough self awareness to be able to put the skids on that mental downhill shame spiral, but it's been a process.
I've been here before, many times, especially in my past life as a professional modern dancer, but I haven't had an injury like this for a while.
This is what I know:
Usually when I have a little niggle I'm able to dip into my toolbox of stretches, and movements, and exercises, and balls, and props, and rollers, and springs to "fix" myself. This is an ethos that I try to instil in my clients - not to rush off to the Dr./Physio/Chiro at every last ache and pain but to do a bit of exploration and see if there are some simple self care steps that can help resolve things.
But...
I've tweaked my knee, which is actually part of an old injury pattern, and it's not getting better even with all my "interventions". I need some outside help so I'm gonna go see a doctor and take it from there.
So how did I get to this place of enlightenment 6 weeks after hurting myself?
Steps to Enlightenment (lol)
Denial, aka the injury's not that bad and will sort itself out.
Denial II, it's not getting better but I'm going to give it a little bit more time to sort itself out.
Determination, I have the tools and wherewithal to fix it myself.
Determination II & Hubris, I just haven't found the right thing to do yet but I'm sure I can because I have soooo much knowledge of my body.
Resignation, it's not getting better no matter what I do.
Resignation II & Denial III, I don't have the time or energy to deal with this injury so I'm just going to ignore it again.
Realisation, it's not going to get better unless I actually do something about it.
Realisation II & Determination III, I need some outside help so let me go and make that appointment.
Psychological Worries
The psychology of being injured is an interesting topic (especially if, as mentioned before, what you do for a living is teach people how to move their bodies in an optimal way).
Here are some of the many brain loops that have been ricocheting inside my head:
The PRESSURE on myself to be a healthy example to my clients: the inference is, just do what I tell you to do and you'll be able to deal with your niggles and injuries but, if I can't lead by example am I a big ole fraud? Will my clients lose respect for me??
FOMO: if you use your body for a living and you're injured it can mean that you can't do your job. It's really easy to have feelings of inadequacy and that you'll get left behind. When I was dancing I tweaked my ribs in the middle of a new piece being choreographed. It was awful to sit on the sidelines and try to be positive while the work very easily continued on without me. Hell yes my ego was bruised and feelings of being entirely expendable were heightened (feelings that I found very common in the dance world).
GUILT: you either injure yourself by doing something supposedly inconsequential or benign (that rib injury came from sneezing while I was extremely sick with a cold) or, you push the edge of the envelope and let your ego take the wheel (ahem, my current knee injury came from doing something I know I shouldn't have attempted).
CATASTROPHIZING: your brain goes to the worst possible scenario. There's a feeling that you're gonna be injured forever, you'll be obsolete, people will get tired of hearing about your injury, you'll lose work. You go down the rabbit hole of negativity and inflate aaaall the consequences of what might happen.
Finally, PTSD (this is a biggie): Since this particular injury is a version of one I've had before I'm not only experiencing all the things from the present injury: the pressure, the guilt, the FOMO and the catastrophizing, but am intensely re-living them as well. It can get pretty exhausting.
How To Cope
Positive Actions Supported by Research
KEEP MOVING: even if you can't do 100% of what you want to do, or used to do, there are usually things you can do - KEEP MOVING (I cannot emphasise this enough)! Even though my knee is not super happy, if I use it, try to not favour it too much, and keep the surrounding things (calf, adductors, hip flexors) open and stretched, I have much better function. There is something to be said for "no pain no gain" in injury recovery.
Dovetailing off keeping on moving, focus on the POSITIVES: lose the self recrimination. What CAN you do, versus what you can't? Because a lot of the Pilates repertoire is done lying down, I can do a pretty vigorous Mat workout and not annoy my knee. Bonus - my creativity's challenged and I'm ever more mindful because I can't just workout on autopilot.
COMMUNITY: it's very easy to isolate yourself when you're injured especially if your mobility is hampered, but it's imperative to maintain your social networks. Simply put, you'll have better outcomes. So I don't suffer in silence, and because it gives me a sense of my normal routine (plus I get to see my gym buddies) I'm still going to my strength and conditioning classes. I am just modifying the crap out of them until my knee gets better.
SLEEP: try to get as much good sleep as possible, it will help with it all: your mood, your attitude, and your recovery.
Be KIND to yourself: I have to keep reminding myself it does get better. It does change even if it's incremental. It's probably going to be a one step forward two steps back, non linear journey to recovery. I'll have a day with less pain or have a day with more function and I'll hang onto that. I try to expect that I'll have those good days rather than hope that I do.
In Conclusion
Don't be alarmed if injuries affect your mental health.
Don't be alarmed if you feel like your body has betrayed you.
Don't be alarmed if you have a crappy attitude.
Don't be alarmed if it takes you a while to start on your recovery.
Remember there are things within your control and your job is to maximise them.
Maintain your movement, your positive attitude, your sleep hygiene, and your relationships - there's light at the end of the injury tunnel.
Thanks for reading, be well,
xBec
Here’s an applicable Joseph Pilates quote
The information contained above is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this blog are not intended to amount to advice and Rebecca Forde disclaims all liability and responsibility